Another step in the right direction!

Today, I have felt, has been another progressive day! I slept through the whole night last night, which makes you feel so much better. It’s amazing how sleep helps with the recovery process. My diet is pretty much back to normal, along with bowel movements – the pain has nearly gone! Having a wee still feels strange, but I’m sure that will ease too over time. I’m feeling much more myself, I’ve got back into my daily routine, which I think has helped. I even put some earings in today and a touch of lip gloss. Only problem is, because I’m feeling better I feel I want to do more. This is fine but I need to make sure I don’t over do it and that I listen to my body. I did put a few bits in the washer this morning and then on the airer to dry, but I sat on the floor when doing this (it was only pants and socks!). They probably could’ve waited til the weekend, but it gave me something to do!

If the weather was better I would be going out for more little walks, unfortunately I can’t as it’s totally throwing down! I got on the scales this morning and I’m now 9st. I can only presume that it’s muscle loss 😦 . Perhaps as I’m eating slightly smaller portions it may have an effect but I doubt it, I’m definitely not going hungry!  Will keep an eye on my weight though, as much as I don’t want to put on weight, I don’t want to lose too much either.

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Anxiety

Ok, today is Sunday. Last night I couldn’t get comfy in bed so decided the best option for everyone was for me to sleep on the sofa as it’s where I feel best positioned. Got comfy straight away and within minutes had drifted off ( not difficult as im shattered).

Suddenly, without any warning I awoke to the feeling of being winded, no air in my lungs at all. I gasped for air and could feel my heart racing in my chest. It felt like I had a lump in my throat too. Had I slept in such a strange position that it’d stopped my breathing? Slowly I calmed myself, sat quietly for a while, my eyes kept closing but every  time I went to nod off I would jump and my eyes would open wide (you know when you get that feeling of falling and you wake up when you’ve not long gone to bed? Well bit like that!). When you’re so tired things always get magnified, which does NOT help when it comes to anxiety!

So I sat, from 2.03am til 3.08am and I sobbed and sobbed until I didn’t have the energy or tears. I wasn’t crying in pain or finally feeling any ‘loss’, I just needed to let it out. I sat and read up on anxiety after hysterectomy and it’s apparently, very common. Many women had put on forums about what I was feeling. Suddenly, I realised this was ok, it was almost normal. I started doing some breathing techniques I knew, my cat came and lay by my side and I concentrated on stroking her. Slowly I drifted back off!

5 hours later I woke up to a cuddle from my son. I’d done it, I had slept through and I feel much better for it. I only wish I’d have known all these little things before, but you tend to just look at the physical side of recovery. The other thing I came across is that I should be doing breathing techniques to expand my lungs and get rid of any secretions that have built up due to anesthetic – when I stand I get a tickle in my lungs and need to cough, again this is normal, but no-one mentioned this. I do feel let down post operatively, by the hospital as they have given me no paperwork at all about post hysterectomy/operation care! In hindsight, this is something I wish I’d have researched more on and been more adequately prepared.

Start of my journey…

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

So, this is my very first post!

Well as of today I have 16 days until I go for a full abdominal hysterectomy…At 36!

I wanted to start this blog mainly for myself, so l could document my ups and downs, my thoughts and feelings, but also because when trying to read up about hysterectomy surgery you only seem to come across women over 50 and a lot of advice relating to that age group, which l am most certainly NOT! I want to write about how, as at fit and healthy 36 year old, this has affected me, how I deal with things and what happens post op – like weight gain and HRT.

When I was first told that I’d need a full abdominal hysterectomy I managed to walk out of hospital, pay for parking and get to my car with my head held high. Once in my car I burst into tears. I think it was shock, it wasn’t what i was expecting to hear. I have one child and didn’t want anymore, that was a definite! I think I was more upset over the size of this kind of operation (especially when the pre-op nurse tells you they need blood from you incase you ‘bleed out’ and need a transfusion!) as opposed to what was being taken away.

As you do, I went home and googled the op……..Never a good thing! I was scared stiff, weight gain, “don’t do it”, incontinence, you name, it all came up. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! So after long, late night discussions with my husband ( who has been totally bloody awesome about all this), we came to the decision to only look at the positives of having this op and not the possible negatives.

At the moment I’m feeling ok, I’m trying to not think about my operation too much – (that’s more about the op, not what is being taken)! I’m on a 27 day shred (started on 1st April) to get as fit and slim as possible before the surgery. My idea is that this will help post op 😉 I love keeping fit, I try and do 2/3 HIIT workouts a week inc. cardio and am currently 9st 4lb. I’d like to get to 9st before my op as one thing that bothers me is the thought of piling on the weight after, due to not being able to do anything!! In my head I don’t feel like I’ll be any less of a woman without my womb and cervix (I’ve got fake boobs -they’re all I need lol!), that side of it doesn’t really bother me – perhaps it’s not properly sunk in yet? I guess, perhaps the closer it gets this may change? But, for the time being I’m concentrating on becoming the fittest I can with 16 days to go!!