Last night I finally slept in my own bed. Up until now I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. The main reason is the sofa arms are perfect to keep me slightly upright and they’re hard, so unlike pillows that slowly squash to nothing, I would stay in place for most the night. The other reason for sleeping downstairs was so my husband, who’s been been running round constantly doing things, could get some decent kip. I’m up a fair bit throughout the night, what with toilet breaks (I’m drinking loads of water), I seem to get indigestion around 2am so I found a small bowl of cereal helps, constant tossing and turning! My poor husband needs all the rest he can get at the moment and me getting up and down would no doubt be highly annoying (even though he tells me he doesn’t care!). But last night I took the plunge, I went for it. Sorted my pillows out, got comfy and slept til midnight without a worry, then my first wee break, which I managed to go to without having to turn all the lights on. After this I slept til 2.23am, when the dreaded indigestion reared its ugly head. So I quietly slipped downstairs and got a small bowl of cornflakes and sat on the stairs to eat them. I got into bed just before 3am and slept til 8.30ish. I stayed in bed whilst my husband went for a run and woke again at 10am! I felt amazing. 

I managed to go for a longer walk than yesterday, although I can soon feel on my right side, a bit of soreness, if I go too far. And I dusted in the lounge. But I felt so good and I put it down to good sleep. I hope I get another good night tonight.

Nothing else at the moment is bothering​ me. I’m less emotional than I have been and my scar looks to be healing nicely. My diet/eating is back on track and do all is going well. I hope it continues.


Finally turned a corner!

Today I have showered myself, got a bra on, put proper clothes on and been out for a mini walk! It feels AMAZING! I have no doubt there will be a down side to this super feeling, but for now I am loving it. It has been the first day that I’ve had the strength to get myself up and independently showered and dressed and it felt like such a massive achievement to do this. I’ve noticed my bowels are getting better too (which also has a big impact on how you feel!). People are asking if they can come and see me, which is great and I really look forward to having a good catch up. I can’t help but feel a little anxious too. Stupid really, but with my emotions how they are I’ve already pre warned one friend that I may burst into tears as soon as I see them. I think when you’re in a little bubble of home and close family, anything out of that feels very strange. But I am still excited to start seeing people!

Turning a corner, that’s how I would describe today. I changed the title of this post to reflect that. I am under no illusion that I still have a mountain to climb, but days like this really do fill you with much confidence and strength needed for the next stage of this journey. Sometimes I don’t think I realise just how much stress my body has been under, until an anxiety attack hits and my husband reassures me that it’s normal for what I’ve ‘been through’. This was major surgery – not Inc the added extras. I must also remember, I am still anaemic and it will take time for my body to build up the red blood cells.

But I am happy, and I will make sure I take ALL the positives from today!

Day 15 post op!

Straight talking

After having a quick look back over my posts, especially post op, I know there’s a lot of talk about bowel issues. I understand how this isn’t a particularly nice topic to talk about but because I want to highlight everything I go through with this operation, this has been a huge part of my recovery, so far. No one that I spoke to previously mentioned about bowel issues, yeah they said it tingles when you wee, but that was all. I’ve read up on line and on different forums about the bowel side of things and it IS a huge part of recovery. I’m not sure what I could have done differently if I’d have been aware of this but I do think I would have been more prepared for it. Most women say sluggish bowels, constipation and pain passing a stool lasts for up to 4 weeks post op (some even say longer), so that’s what time frame I’m going for. Oh and when I say pain, I mean like birth contractions – yeah THAT pain!!!

I didn’t sleep well again last night. I decided to have another Movicol (low dose laxative) make sure things keep moving, but (and I’d noticed this before), after about an hour of taking it I get really bad heart palpitations/racing heart. It seemed extremely bad last night. I did Google it (as you do at 2.12 am) and apparently it is a side effect that can happen! Great, so that’ll be the last time I use that! I will see how I get on, any issues and I’ll call my GP.

So I’ve been taking my Estrogen only HRT (Premarin) for just over a week, can’t say I’ve noticed any difference, although I’ve not had any flushes or night sweats so that’s a bonus!! Mind you, I’m not sure what kind of difference I should be looking for. I did get on the bathroom scales yesterday, just to see how much I weighed with my big bloated tummy, it was a surprise to see 9st 2lb looking back at me. I haven’t once considered my weight, especially when it’s come to eating, yes I’ve made sure I eat as healthily as possible, but that’s to aid my body, not for weight loss! But I have noticed that because my tummy is so swollen I am unable to eat huge amounts of food, it’s definitely the case of little and often.

I guess, as this is my 2 week ‘hyster-versary’, I would say that in myself I am feeling much better, sleeping is a slight issue, bowels are literally a pain in the butt but all in all I guess I’m doing ok. Little steps 🙂



Today I completed my first online open uni course Introduction to Child Psychology! I feel really proud of myself.

I’ve had a good day today, managed to stay awake, so fingers crossed I sleep well tonight.

I keep getting worried that something isn’t right, that there’s a lump oright rightside, I know there is one there, I presume it’s just scar tissue but if I think about it too much, I start getting worried. I think it’s because of me having to go back into hospital, I worry it’ll happen again. Apart from this I’m getting on ok. No pain, only bowel issues…..Same old! Shall be glad to turn a corner with this, it gets you down! From what I’ve read and seen on forums, dodgy, lazy painful bowel can go on for a good few weeks! Great :-\

Today is a good day!

Sun is shinning, birds are singing, and I feel rather good! It is another positive day on my post op journey. I didn’t sleep great, think it’s because I slept a lot yesterday, so will try and keep more awake today as I’d like to get back into a night time routine. But apart from that, I don’t have any pain, my BM have been good (although that still hurts, but I’ve noticed it’s a little less!) and my diet is getting back to normal! Not that I was eating rubbish, I wasnt eating that much and didn’t fancy my usual foods. This morning though I’ve had a pink grapefruit (good for my iron tablet – Vit C helps the body take in Iron), then an activia yoghurt (all that good gut bacteria) with chia seeds (fibre) and gala melon cubes!! Just eating like this makes me feel good though. I’ve finished my antibiotics course and the blood thinning injections, infact I now only take Iron tablets and my estrogen tablet. My wound looks to be healing nicely, which is good and my mood is very positive. At the start of the week I found myself wanting to burst into tears every moment I got, that’s definitely passed now. It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow that I had my operation, I’m not sure if it’s gone quick or not but I’m glad to be this side and starting to feel better.

Today however is my wonderful husbands birthday. I managed to get a couple of things before my op, for him. But after what he’s been through and done for me, nothing seems anywhere near good enough. I also feel guilty as we can’t go out for a meal. I can’t even cook for him, he’s going to have to cook his own birthday dinner 😦 Don’t get me wrong, hes not big on birthdays anyway but I feel he deserves being spoilt and looked after, especially today, but i just cannot do it. I will make sure though that I will treat him once I’m stronger and all his birthdays from now on will be celebrated. 

So, day 13 post op and I can see a light at the end of a very long tunnel!!

Ou, one last thing, I’ve come to realise that WATER is the golden juice, drink as much as you possibly can. Not only does it help with bowel movements, it also flushes out the bladder (less chance of infection) and keeps you well hydrated. I soon notice if I’ve not drunk enough! It makes such a big difference. 

Is that a smile?

Its the 12th day after my op and I’ve finally had a day of feeling better. Very tired but better. I actually slept last night, without medicinal help too, which has really helped. I’ve been up on my water intake and have had quite a few decent bowel movements, which again has really helped make me feel better. 

All in all a good day. Just feel so very tired after doing very little.


Give me a break!

01:13 – this is the time, I’ve not been to sleep yet as my tummy has once again distended with lots of gas/air that will not shift. I did take a Nytol style tablet, which would have seen me into a beautiful slumber, but with this going on, there’s no chance. Have once again resorted to a night down on the sofa, mainly so my husband can sleep. I decided to try food to push the gas out so had cornflakes &soy milk and 6 x prunes!! I think it’s helping, but I really wanted to sleep in my own bed. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Ok, so still no BM but my goodness have I slept! I would definitely recommend some sleep aid tablets if you’re struggling, they really have helped. I think I’ve had about 10 hours sleep in total, which will really aid my recovery. I decided to have a Movicol sachet last night which is a laxative medicine, but one that’s very soft on the bowels – it can take up to 2 days to work as it goes with the natural rhythm of your bowel. Problem is, I think you get into a catch 22, on one hand you’re not feeling great so don’t eat that much. On the other hand, you need to eat enough to actually have food in you to pass! Ahhhhhh

Well I’m going to have lunch, shower and have a few steps outside. This is my goal for today. I’m hoping, once my sleeping is sorted and bowels relax a bit more, that I can start on my Open Uni stuff!

Trying to be really positive

X x x