*blush

It’s 5.28am, I have been awake since 3am. And it’s all down to gas and bowels. I didn’t think as I was having an abdominal cut that there would be an issue with gas and my bowels…Oh how wrong I was! Apparently when you have an abdominal incision they do mess around with your bladder and bowels which can then lead to your bowels going into spasm and not really working properly. Which in turn gives you the most excruciating pain ever (think IBS, but a million times worse!).

Again this is not something I’d prepared for, and I totally blame myself. There is stuff on the internet about painful bowel movements post op but they’re usually written by older women. I do think, stupidly, that i didn’t pay much attention to it. It isn’t just passing a stool either, that’s not too bad as they give you a mild laxative to help, it’s more of the cramping when food stuff moves through your bowels and the gas that comes with it.

So all in all, a horrendous night. Right now my eyes just want to close. May continue later.

Yeah so, have had a day catching up on sleep! Have got some herbal sleep helpers for tonight.

I spent much of last night crying, I just felt really quite alone (I wasn’t, both boys were fast asleep upstairs!). I ended up looking and searching the internet about bowel issues post hysterectomy, it really is an issue for everyone. I will say Hystersisters.com has been an amazing site with loads of information and forums where you can ask ladies about what their experience is and it does take away that lonely feeling when someone replys or you read how many others have been through this before. I also had the huge sense of “what have I done”. Even though I know deep down my symptoms will have only got worse, especially when my consultant told me what a mess he found! But the regret i felt last night was horrible, I just wanted to be back to me again.

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